My 2-year-old does not understand anything I say. Will it get better?
A parent asked this on Reddit and 48 people answered, including a speech-language pathologist. This page explains the one question to settle first, what the research says about early diagnosis, and what to try at home this week.
Every claim is checked against the primary research, and reviewed by Rachel Blackburn, BCBA.
First find out whether he is not understanding, or understanding and not responding. They look identical and need different plans.
The Reddit post
A parent of a 2.5-year-old described a child who labels objects, knows his letters and plays football, but does not respond to his name or follow a spoken instruction. Hearing had already been tested and cleared.
My son is 2.5 and our biggest concern is his receptive language. He does not respond to his name and doesn't understand basic verbal commands. He can recognize and label a ball and play football with me, but if I simply say bring me the ball, he may not understand me.
Read the original thread on r/Autism_Parenting · posted 2026-08-08 · 48 comments
Top comments at a glance
| Comment | Upvotes | Core claim | Our take |
|---|---|---|---|
| “are you sure his receptive language is that bad or does he just not want to listen? she reacts instantly even if I'm not talking to her” | 19 | Clinical testing can understate what a child understands | Accurate |
| “I'm an SLP. They are receiving language, but they don't show that they're listening in the typical ways and they don't feel the need to show off what they know” | 10 | Comprehension can be present without visible compliance | Accurate |
| “My son is 7 and was the exact same way until he was maybe around 5. He is still nonverbal but he understands everything now” | 7 | It commonly improves later than parents expect | Partly true |
| “What DOES get his attention is visual information. If he sees both of us getting ready, putting on shoes, then he becomes interested” | 4 | The child follows visual cues rather than spoken ones | Accurate |
Is he not understanding, or not responding?
Accurate
This is the right first question and it changes the whole plan. A child who ignores a direct instruction but reacts to overheard talk about the bath is demonstrating comprehension that a prompted test will miss, which is why the VB-MAPP measures listener skills inside play rather than through drilled commands.
Evidence: VB-MAPP listener responding assessment
What does a speech-language pathologist say?
Accurate
The SLP in the thread confirmed the same split. Responding on demand is a separate skill from understanding, and the 2015 consensus paper on naturalistic developmental behavioral interventions recommends assessing and teaching both inside routines the child already cares about (Schreibman et al., 2015).
Evidence: Schreibman et al., 2015, NDBI consensus
Do children catch up on understanding?
Partly true
Many do gain a great deal, and this parent's account is real, but no single child gets a timeline. What the data does say is that an early diagnosis is stable: across 1,269 toddlers, 84% who were diagnosed kept the diagnosis, so plan for support that changes shape, not for waiting (Pierce et al., 2019).
Evidence: Pierce et al., 2019, n=1,269
Should you lean on what already works?
Accurate
Yes, and this detail is the most actionable line in the thread. Pairing a visual cue with the spoken word teaches the word instead of testing it, which is the core of Natural Environment Teaching.
Evidence: Natural Environment Teaching
What to do this week
- Test the overheard-talk signal yourself this week. Say "bath" or "park" to another adult, not to him, and watch. A reaction is comprehension.
- Pair every spoken instruction with the visual cue he already follows. Hold up the shoes while saying shoes. Fade the visual later, not now.
- Ask for a developmental evaluation now, not at three. Diagnostic stability is 0.79 by 14 months (Pierce et al., 2019). Waiting buys nothing.
- Ask any provider how they assess listener skills. If the answer is drilled commands at a table, the measurement will miss what he knows.
What we have actually seen
Receptive language is one of the most common reasons Colorado families call us, and the first thing our BCBAs do is separate comprehension from responding. We assess with VB-MAPP, which measures listener skills inside play, then build goals into routines the child already cares about. Parent coaching matters more here than almost anywhere else, because the hundred small language moments in a day happen without us.
The Colorado numbers
- Early Intervention Colorado serves children under three through the state, and private ABA runs alongside it. Budding Futures serves children from 18 months with no assessment waitlist.
- 1 in 31 eight-year-olds is now identified with autism nationally (CDC, 2025), and Colorado's autism enrollment grew 180% between 2012 and 2024, so a receptive-language concern at 2.5 is common and well understood here.
- Health First Colorado and Aetna are our main payers, and most Medicaid families pay nothing out of pocket for in-home ABA.
Quick answers
Should I get hearing tested first? Yes, always rule out hearing first. This family had already done it, which is exactly right.
Is not responding to his name a sign of autism? It is one of the more consistent early signs, though never sufficient alone. A developmental evaluation is the next step, and early diagnosis is stable (Pierce et al., 2019).
Can ABA help with understanding language? Yes. Listener skills are a core target of naturalistic teaching, and Budding Futures builds them into play rather than drilling commands.
Should we do speech therapy as well as ABA? Many Colorado families do both, and they target different things. We coordinate with outside speech and OT providers rather than replacing them.
Is 2.5 too early to start? No. Diagnostic stability is 0.83 by 16 months, and Budding Futures serves children from 18 months with no waitlist.
More from this series
Sources
Pierce et al., 2019
Diagnostic stability from 12 months, 1,269 toddlers.
Schreibman et al., 2015
Naturalistic developmental behavioral interventions, consensus paper.
CDC
Autism spectrum disorder signs and symptoms.
Colorado Department of Early Childhood
Early Intervention Colorado.
Budding Futures
ABA therapy for speech and communication delay.
Who we are
Budding Futures ABA provides in-home ABA therapy across Colorado for children 18 months to 18 years. Care is play-based and assent-based, built on Natural Environment Teaching, with BCBA supervision targeted at about 20% of hours, which is four times the BACB minimum. Parent coaching is part of every plan and there is no assessment waitlist. We accept Health First Colorado and major insurance, and most Medicaid families pay nothing out of pocket. Our clinical director is Rachel Blackburn, BCBA, and the practice is led by director Mark Hirsch.
Worried about your toddler's understanding?
We can walk through how we separate comprehension from responding, and what would change in your daily routines first.